We hoped he just was St Patrick’s day Gnome drinking Redbreast shirt watching us to make sure we were cleaning the way he wanted, but after a while it started to become pretty creepy. We were old enough to tell when someone was just looking at us, or if someone was really looking at us. We finished the cleaning and asked what else he needed. Well, he put down his beer, gave us a creepy smile, and told us he wanted us to make him a sandwich. We knew where this was going, and it was someplace we definitely didn’t want to go. So I laughed, while my sister gave him the stink eye, and asked him again what he wanted.
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He started rubbing his doughy belly and St Patrick’s day Gnome drinking Redbreast shirt licking his scabrous lips, and my sister and I were getting a really bad feeling about this. He then threw some ridiculous platitudes and compliments at us, and probably thought he was being witty and cool. He finally told me I could go outside and tend the garden, while Anna could go with him into the kitchen to fix him something to eat. I wasn’t about to leave my sister alone with the jerk, not because I was afraid of what he would do to her, but more afraid of what she would do to him. So I just stood quietly in the living room, while Anna and Mr Doughy Belly went into the kitchen. And sure enough, after only about thirty seconds I heard a big thump, and saw the guy stagger out of the kitchen, soaking wet with a metal bucket around his head.