Attachment style: since they never felt that close to Size does matter shirt you, there’s not much difference in their feelings now that you’ve split up, so they’re confused that little has changed – inside them is the same mixture of contempt and need they felt for you before (to be honest, if I had this problem of feeling the same about someone after I’d split up with them, I’d be pretty confused. Poor object constancy and whole object relations: people with NPD are lacking in certain cognitive abilities usually developed in childhood. They can’t form a stable image of you or themselves as a combination of good and bad qualities – everyone is either good or bad. After a split, they may forget that, only a few weeks or months ago they thought of you as all-bad.
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Perhaps they are Size does matter shirt nearly divorced from their own feelings for others, so that they feel such feelings only periodically; they abandoned you during a period when they had lost touch with their feelings for you. This is a roundabout way of saying “poor object constancy”. They may not see others as human, but as pure instruments, like those cardboard cut-outs of Danny Devito or The Rock that tourists pose with. This is objectification in its purest form. If you see your boyfriend or girlfriend this way, what real difference is there between having a relationship and not having one? You just keep the cut-out in your garage and pull it out when you’re bored or lonely.